This is a real transcript, which Gonzo made the poor DOJ peeps listen to over the in-house J TV. For the Comically Impaired, jump to the bottom for the full memo.
Normal Text- What Gonzales really said.
Italics - What I think he meant to say, but could not recall.
ATTORNEY GENERAL ALBERTO R. GONZALES
MESSAGE TO DEPARTMENT OF JUSTICE EMPLOYEES
JULY 20, 2007
Good afternoon; thank you for joining me today.
(Nothing like a captive audience to try my spin out on!)
For many of you, what you know about me is shaped largely by what you read in the newspaper. I wish it weren’t this way.
(I wished instead you could build a strong dislike for me by meeting me in person.)
I wish you could instead know me as well as my family and those in my office know me.
(As lackeys)
If you asked them they’d tell you that I’m a quiet man.
(Mostly because I can't even recall what I had for breakfast much less your name.)
They would tell you how much I admire all of you: the dedicated public servants that serve this great department.
(Whose numbers are so deep countless people can take the fall before I do.)
Read More