You have to give it Rove, his last kiss good-bye was one of the sweetest. The news cycle this week was suppose to be non-stop coverage of a resigning Attorney General. You know, a monumental event as the keeper of the rule of law steps down in disgrace, one of the highest position in the land. Alberto Gonzalez was the purest symbol of the utter contempt the Bush Administration had for the Constitution and our collective social contract. He deserved to be roasted in the international, national and local press as the subservient lackey of cronyism that he was.
But Karl Rove had his boy's back. He had an ace in the hole that would kill any and all discussion of Gonzo by the talking heads. He had something that involved at least a few of the meaty morals Americans love. The fall from grace of a powerful figure. Adultery. And best yet, gay sex in a public space. It was even signed sealed and delivered by a Guilty plea and fines paid. He held it in his sleeve till Alberto was ready to meet him in Texas. He had been sitting on for months.
So on Monday, minutes after Bush and Gonzo's pressers, the Senator Craig story appeared on The Hill. Minutes. Go check the time stamps. Once everyone realized that this scandal already had a plea entered, the firestorm was started. The Gonzo story was not nearly as sexy as a Senator trying to hook-up in a toilet stall at a public restroom in an airport no less. News programmers far and wide dumped the rather boring sound bites of Gonzo leaving town for the sex scandal. By the next news cycle, Gonzo wasn't even making the top fold, it was all Senator Craig, all the time. The only other happy person about this was Michael Vick. He was like Rep. Gary Condit on 9-11. Yep, I still remember that shit.
It was a brilliant play, though, Rove knew America and the media would latch on to PottyGate and let Gonzo slip out of town. This is why I always loved Karl, he was a master of being 50 steps ahead of the spider. He could twist the media around like silly putty, and press it on newspaper and make the story contort to any of his whims. He was a true avatar of meta. Evil, but a genius. I will always remember him as the one the Democrats could never pin down or control, or even put up a fight against. He owned them. Pure and simple.
Even as the spin masters of the left sat in their war rooms on Monday, they were confused about how to tackle the news cycle. Their softball issue of Gonzo leaving DC in disgrace had been supplanted by gay sex scandal of a Republican Senator. Even that is brilliant.
Do they come out and condemn him for being a hypocrite? Do they use the family values card? Was he entrapped? How could the spin that without coming off looking like complete and utter assholes. They couldn't, which is why you didn't hear a peep out of them. Well, played Karl.
And of course, all the talking points they had assembled on Gonzo were now for a second tier story. KARL! Why do you hurt so good! I mean, that was a great two-fer. And all you had to do was destroy a man's life.
See you in Texas Karl, but stay out of the Senators race in the Lone Republic. Your boy is dumb as a box turtle and I got a true-blue war hero on my ticket. And plus we will be playing on my home turf, not yours, not matter what Bushie tells you. You will have to face a meta avatar of the left, though I am sure you would enjoy the challenge for once.
God knows the Democrats in Washington couldn't give you one. Ever.
-----------
My Five Favorite Things Today:
- Tube Map for Miss South Carolina
http://www.morningto...
- How to Spend $1,000,000 USD on Food a Day
http://www.bocajoesc...
- Why the Zune is Brown
http://tumbl.us/...
- This Modern World: It's like we shot a whole country in the face!
http://images.salon....
- This Girl Will Kick Your Ass
http://www.youtube.c...
Crossposted at my new playground.